Disney Done Did Dat Already.

WARNING: May or may not contain spoilers! You have been warned!

The Zookeeper

My niece calls me up and tells me she wants to see the movie The Zookeeper.  Not a movie I particularly wanted to see on the big screen but I have a deal with her* so we go.  Kevin James (KJ)  is a fine comedic actor. He’s not one of my favorites, but he’s not on the bottom of my list either.  Can he carry this movie? Sure, as long as you aren’t expecting much.  It’s your typical “boy gets girl, boy loses girl, boy gets girl only to realize he’s not in love with her but in love with his co-worker who’s been in love with him for years” rom-com.  Actually, just drop the rom, it’s a simple com.  One thing you need to realize, this is an Adam Sandler movie.  It has his signature all over it.  Not that it’s a bad thing. Billy Madison and Happy Gilmore are two of my favorite movies.  The problem is that everything in this movie has been done before, except this time you have talking animals.  Some scenes are very painful to watch (KJ and the blue chair, KJ and the frog stance, KJ in any scene without an animal or Rosario Dawson) while other really had me rolling (KJ and the Gorilla at TGIFriday’s).  Adam Sandler as the monkey was bit irritating about 10 minutes after he starts talking.  I kept expecting the Lion to yell “Yo, Adrian” and the Lioness to start singing a medley of hits (I Got You Babe, Half-Breed, If I Could Turn Back Time…).

The plot is very predictable and you see the ending coming a mile away (boy chase true love who is on her way to the airport).  Thankfully, the movie isn’t that long and is over before it caused an aneurism. 

Overall rating:  Wait for the Network Broadcast. It has its moments, but not enough of them to justify any type of viewing.

Well, I liked it.

Obviously there is no accounting for taste.

What's that supposed to mean.

Can you imagine what would happen if I let ou write these reveiws? I would lose my credibility. 

What you talking 'bout, Willis?

You thought The Fountain was the greatest movie ever made!

It was!

And you thought that Star Wars was, and I quote, "re-hashed, centuries old mythology regurgitated for the ADHD masses with no respect to the source material."

Yeeeeeahhh... I will never confirm nor deny that a possible error might have been accidentally made.  Until you integrate instant replay in these movie reviews, these movie reviews will never be 100% accurate.


Yeah, we want instant replay put into our next collective bargaining agreement.

What?!?!?! That's it, no more watching ESPN for you.  You want a CBA? Really? Seriously?  And who's this "we"?

What? You didn't think I was here by myself, did you?  Let me introduce you to Hidari.


Oh, I so don't need this right now.


*- Once a month, I take my nephews and nieces to a movie of their choice followed by some quality time hanging out.  Next month she wants to go see The Smurfs. Oh, will the pain never end!